Blog 10

I found an article by Nicole Yorio titled, “Four Secrets to Having a Spectacular Marriage.” She writes about Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., who followed 373 couples for over 22 years as part of a marriage study funded by the National Institutes of Health. I thought that since the chapter this week talked about spousal abuse, it would be nice to know how to make a marriage work. The first secret that Yorio talks about is to understand each other’s needs. If we understand what the other person wants then we can learn to do those things, so that way they can be happy also. The second secret is to show him some love. Yorio states, “Husbands whose wives give them affirmation…are twice as likely to describe themselves as happily married.” My only problem with this is that it should say, “Show each other some love,” but I guess it is easier to show women love. Terri says that men may need more affection than women. The third secret is to take ten. Meaning, we should take ten minutes a day to talk about anything. The only rule is that you can’t talk about kids, responsibility or chores. I think that this is harder for men than women, because my husband doesn’t really talk to me about personal things. I think that he is embarrassed about what he wants to talk about, but all I want is to know what he is thinking. The fourth secret is to focus on the good. This is a no-brainer. If we constantly are focusing on the bad then we won’t want to talk to each other anymore. Orbuch says that we need to look at it as if we were weighing our interactions on a scale. If we want to be happier then the positive needs to outweigh the negative. I think that this is very good advice because I think couples today tend to focus on the negative aspects of a relationship and they think, “Well, if this doesn’t work out at least we can get a divorce.” That is not the answer. Couples need to learn to understand each other and learn about each other. This way they can live happily ever after. At least most of the time.

Blog 9

I found an article, “Harassment, Tower of London and Beefeaters,” on MSN that was from the Post Chronicle in London.  This was about the first woman to ever be allowed into the Beefeaters. Her name is Yeoman Warder Moira Cameron. She was harassed by three men. Two male warders have been suspended and one other is being investigated. She said that they defaced her, bullied her, and left notes in her locker that were of an unpleasant nature. What this woman has gone through is wrong. No woman should have to prove that she is worthy of a job that men are “supposed” to hold. Women are just as good if not better than most men at their jobs. Why is it that men feel so threatened when a woman is hired into a position that they feel is not worthy enough for them? I think that it is because they think that the woman will out do them and make them look bad. What this woman has done is great. She has proven that she is worthy enough to be in the same category as men. When I look at certain jobs and the gender that is held by certain positions I see a pattern. I went to my bank the other day and noticed that all of the tellers were women and all of the “upper management” people were men. That is a perfect example of how women are still viewed as the “nobody” because they aren’t men. I couldn’t work in a place where women are constantly shown as the weaker sex. They are still investigating Cameron’s case, so I hope that she gets the justice that she deserves.

Blog 8

I remembered watching an episode of Oprah a month or two ago and she went through the Bunny Ranch. I don’t remember the woman’s name that is famous for living there, but she talked about how it was being a prostitute. She doesn’t look at it as being a bad thing. What she does she considers a good job. She explained that she doesn’t always have to do sexual things with the clients that come in. Some people just want company and that is what she provides. One man had her accompany him all day and act as the nagging wife because he didn’t know what it was like to have a nagging wife. WHAT??!! I still don’t see how this can be a lifestyle that anyone would want. I heard once that some women are prostitutes because that is the only way to provide for their families. I don’t agree with that because I am sure that if they really tried they could find a job that wouldn’t mean giving their bodies to another for money. Prostitution can get you many things besides money. It could get women sexually transmitted diseases, bruises, broken bones, psychological damage, and killed. I don’t see why this would be appealing to a person; maybe they watched “Pretty Woman” too many times. I think that “Pretty Woman” is a good movie just because I am a hopeless romantic, but it isn’t a lifestyle that a woman should envy to have. Yeah, a woman could make a lot of money being a prostitute, but is it worth it in the end. I don’t think so.

Blog 7

This past weekend my husband and I celebrated our one year anniversary. He surprised me and took me to downtown Cincinnati where we stayed at a very nice hotel called the Cincinnatian. When we went to check in I was amazed at the looks that I was getting by older couples because I am young. This also happened on our honeymoon. It is usually only the older couples that would give us looks. They look because I don’t look as if I am old enough to be married. I remember when we checked into our first hotel the day after we got married. I remember feeling weird because the only other people that I had checked into a hotel with were my parents. People judge too quickly and decide whether or not it is acceptable that I, at twenty years of age, am old enough to get married. I personally think that I married at the normal age. Girls who are still in their “teens,” I do not consider the normal age at which a girl should marry. I think that this is why the divorce rate is climbing. Girls are marrying at a very young age and they don’t realize the responsibility that they will have to take on. I am not saying that it is always the girls fault for the divorce rates rising. Boys are also at fault. They have only one thing on their minds when they want to get married, sex, lots of sex. Which is absolutely ridiculous, but unfortunately it happens many times.

Blog 6

Yesterday, when I was checking my Facebook account I saw that my Aunt had answered a poll about whether or not they should make abortion legal. She answered “No,” she doesn’t think that abortion should be legalized. The photo that they used for the poll was a picture of a mangled fetus that had just come out of a mother who had had an abortion. Immediately seeing the image I felt sick to my stomach. I don’t understand how any human being could just kill another living thing like that. The statistics said that so far about 70% of the people who had taken the poll said that they were against legalizing abortion and only about 20% were for it. Mind you this isn’t taking a poll from everyone in the world, but Facebook is a major thing nowadays and with the results that they have gotten so far, it just shows that we are more pro-life then we want to agree to. Even though there are a lot of people out there saying that it should be up to the mother whether or not she wants to have the baby, but I don’t see how a person can mutilate a fetus the way that the photo showed me when taking the poll. I personally do not know anyone that has had an abortion. I personally will never ever have one. That is why they invented birth control. That way I wouldn’t even have to think about if I ready to have a baby. This world has become accustomed to taking the easy way out of things, and I believe that by having an abortion women are taking the easy way out.

Blog 5

Just the other day I happened to be in Kohl’s. I was up near the little girl’s clothing section and I happened to notice that they now have girl’s plus sizes. Whoever thought of this is a genius, because there are a lot of little girls that are bigger and they don’t have a lot of clothing options. As I stated in my previous post, my little cousin is a little heavier than the average nine year old. For her birthday my sister and I decided to take her shopping for clothes. We decided that we would just pop into Wal-Mart and see what we could find her. Well, she didn’t fit into anything in the girl’s section, so we had to go over to the teens and missus. As she tried on the clothes that she had picked out, it was obvious that none of them were going to fit, because they were either too small or too big. That is why I think Kohl’s was smart when they put out the plus sizes for little girls. Now the girls who are a little bigger can have the cute clothes that the skinny girls wear. They don’t have to feel like they are the outcast because all that fits them is dresses and sweatpants. Since what you wear can affect your self-esteem and how you view your body, I think that it is important to be able to find clothes that not only fit, but look good also. Wearing something that looks cool and fits good can allow them to think positively about themselves and that will maybe show them that they need to be who they are, not who society wants them to be.

Blog 4

This past week I was in the mall and I found myself walking behind two women who were holding hands. I can only assume that they were lesbians because not too many grown women walk hand in hand down a hallway. I found myself staring at them, at their hands, and thinking how dare they walk like this in a mall where families and children are. I didn’t think that it was right for them to be doing this. I became angry and upset. I almost wanted to say something to them, but I didn’t. They shouldn’t be publicly showing their affection for one another like that. It wasn’t right. I was behind them for about two or three minutes and then they ended up going into a store. I was relieved when they were out of my sight. After I thought about what I had just seen and how I had acted, I realized that I was wrong for acting that way. I shouldn’t judge a person because they want to show their love and affection towards another human being. Unfortunately, I am the perfect example if how society views people that don’t conform to their likings. People look down on those who are different and that is wrong. The two women that I saw were not harming anyone. They weren’t making out or causing a scene. They were just walking hand in hand down the hallway enjoying their lives. I wasn’t doing anything to stop them; I was just making myself angry and upset.

Blog 3

So, my grandparents had their fiftieth wedding anniversary over Labor Day weekend and my whole family got together. Well, my mother was in charge of the whole gathering and was going around collecting money from her two brothers. They only had to fork over fifteen dollars for their share. Well, when my mother went over to collect from one of her brothers he said that he didn’t have it. So, what does my mother do? She pushes and pushes trying to get the money from him. You would have to understand my mother’s relationship with her brother because what she was doing was not a good thing. Then after my mother asked him like four times, he pushed her against the garage wall and supposedly choked her. When I received the call I was furious. No man has any right to touch a woman in that manner what-so-ever. Even though my mother didn’t have any bruising it still doesn’t make what my Uncle did right. Men are taught by society that it is ok to beat a woman for no reason. Women have been beat for hundreds of years. So it is not why should we be shocked when it occurs time after time? The reason is because women are constantly exploited by the media. An ad for Abercrombie and Fitch states, “Who needs brains when you have these?” Do you really think that the ad was about clothing? What about the ad for a major long-distance telephone carrier that shows three apparently naked women holding a billing statement from a competing phone carrier? The text asks, “When was the last time you got screwed?” The sad part is that the women in both of the ads sign up to make these commercials. They want to be exploited. Women need to understand that this is a wrong way for others to view women. No wonder we will never be equal to men. There aren’t too many ads out there that exploit men, but there wouldn’t be since the people who produce the ads are probably all men.

Blog 2

So, there is a guy that I work with and I am pretty sure that he hates women. Whenever I ask him to do something or help me with something, he will totally ignore me, say he is too busy, or say he will do it but never does. He talks down to women, and it doesn’t matter if he is on the phone with them or if he is talking to them in person. I find it very infuriating when he does this. The bad part is that he isn’t even my boss. He is just another employee like me. There have been many times that we have talked to the Human Resource department to let them know what is going on, but they won’t do anything because our boss won’t say anything against him. My boss is a woman and this guy will actually talk down to her also. Over half of my department is women and we all feel the same way. This is a form of discrimination and it needs to be stopped, but how. How do you get a guy, which has your boss wrapped around his finger, stop discriminating against women? This is one of the reasons why I would love to find another job, but then if I quit I feel like he wins. That does not sit well with me at all. I think that if all the women in the department stand together and show that we are not going to let him do this to us anymore, then the people with the upper hand will finally do something to help the situation. We need not to be afraid to stand for what we believe in.

Blog 1

I am just testing my new blog.